Ring Around the rosie a pocket full of posie Husha Husha We All Fall Down

Being clinically/ manically depressed is terrible. It's a drag to have you entire sanity hang on remembering to take a few pills in the morning. Its destructive to try to go off them every 4months and contemplate suicide in new  lights.  It's really fucking painful to pick up the pieces after a tsunami crash. The worst part is knowing that the wave will come again. Volcano Angela waiting idly, could explode at any minute. Warning signs appear, explosion lasts  for days with fire and ash and lava spuing out of me and destroying everything around me. The the tsunami wave comes, and then,  the flood. The fiery passion leaves and everything is drowning in salt water.  There's nothing left to do but dry up, clean up and wait for it to all happen again.
For some reason even though this volcano has been monitored for years, non of the experts can classify it, the volcano it seems will never be dormant or inactive.

For now, Red Cross has been sent, recommencement of the magic cocktail begins, keep your seat belts  because there is heavy turbulence expected.
Expect shakes, trembles, muscle twitches and sleepiness. Sleeplessness may also incur.

firstly

So here's the thing. I'm a little crazy. Okay, a lot crazy, depending on the day of course.
It's been said that writing can be therapeutic but every time I start a journal I feel ridiculous. My only audience is myself and that just doesn't make any sense. And while I'm quite sure no one will read my ubber cool blog, the possibility that some stranger somewhere else on the globe might be reading this makes my efforts feel more legitimate.
Today I have no obligations and i am sitting on my couch at 12:33 having done absolutely nothing all day. Maybe if I make myself some coffee I will have enough of a boost to clean the house or update my resume. I need a job, I really do. I have one month worth of cash and then I'm out.  What will it be today? Garden State soundtrack? No, I'll go strictly The Stills. They make me laugh.The Stills
Changes are No Good
Or are they? Farewell, until the next time.